Review: Saving Beck by Courtney Cole
Misty's 5 Star Review ~ Good Reads Review Link
"Can you even write a review after that?" ~ Misty, White Hot Reads
There are so many things I want to touch on with this one even knowing nothing I could write will ever ever give this story justice. Natalie. Or was it me? At times I wasn't sure. The grief she is living is real. I know because I've lived it. I don't think anyone has ever written grief like this in such an honest and raw way. It's so hard to put into words but Courtney did it. There were times that I had flashbacks to my own grief and I just had to close my eyes and breathe for a moment. I sympathized with Natalie. I understood Natalie. I even got angry at Natalie. But at times? I was Natalie.
Until this book I think that I was one of those people who thought, why can't they just stop? And yes, this is coming from someone who has lived with a close family member who was an addict. At the time it only made me angry because I didn't understand how they could choose that life over their loved ones. Living parts of this story in Beck's POV has totally changed my perception of this reality. His hurting was palpable through the pages and the mother in me hurt so bad and I just wanted to take away all his pain. I finally understood why and how this road can be so easy to follow and why it will forever be a daily struggle for him and those like him. His chapters in this story were the hardest for me to get through but I'm so glad they will be out in the world because I think everyone needs him. If not for hope and understanding then for empathy and change.
Every character in this book brought something to the table. There was not one character written in this book that didn't have a significant reason for being there. The POV's from not only Natalie and Beck but the past and present really brought this story together. This story is a rabbit hole I can find myself falling into over and over again and that's due to Courtney's writing and being able to take the hardest of subjects and making it relatable. Making you realize that yes, this could happen to me.
To Courtney from a reader, thank you for putting this story out there. Thank you for putting your truths on paper so others can find their truth and hope again.
To Courtney from a fellow mom, my heart is with you as this book goes out into the world and I wish I could hold your hand. I know it must be a scary thing putting this out into a world of cynicism and judgement but I truly believe that this book can help so many. And my biggest hope is that this book helps you lay this cross to rest.
There comes a time when offering your life for your child’s doesn’t work, when you realize that it’ll never be enough.
The cold needle in his warm vein was a welcome comfort to my son at first. But then it became the monster that kept us apart.
Heroin lied, and my son believed. It took him to a world where the last year didn’t happen, to a place where his father was still alive. What Beck didn’t understand was that it couldn’t bring his father back from the dead. It couldn’t take away his pain, not permanently.
You think it can’t happen to you, that your kids, your family, will never be in this situation.
I thought that too. But you’re wrong.
Step into our world, and see for yourself.
Watch my golden boy become a slave to this raging epidemic. Watch me try and save him.
Drug addiction comes with a price.
Trust me, you’re not equipped to pay it.
Don’t miss this heartwrenching, evocative, yet hopeful novel—it will leave you forever changed.
The nurse grasps my arm, and I can’t stand anymore. My legs are tired and the adrenaline… it numbs me. I collapse beside her and she tries to hold me up, but she can’t… I’m on the ground.
My face is wet, when did I start crying?
“You have to save my son,” I beg her, my fingers curled into her arm. I stare into her eyes. Hers are green, ringed with blue, and she looks away. Something about her seems so familiar, something about those eyes.
“We’ll try, ma’am,” she says uncertainly. It’s the uncertainty that kills me. “We’ll do everything we can. I’m going to take you to a quiet room, and give you a blanket. Is there anyone I can call for you?”
I shake my head. “No. I already called my sister.”
“Okay,” the nurse says quietly and her name tag says Jessica. She takes me to a waiting room, a quiet private one, the ones they use when the outcome might not be good. I know that because I’ve been here before.
I swallow hard and she puts a cup of coffee in my hand.
As she does, she pushes a stray hair out of her face and her bracelet catches my eye. A simple chain with a silver dolphin on it. I’ve seen it before.
“You were here the night my husband was brought in,” I realize slowly. “Weren’t you? Do you remember me?”
It was a year ago. A year, two months… I check my watch… six days and twenty-two hours ago. Of course she doesn’t remember me.
But Jessica nods.
“I’m so sorry about your husband,” she tells me now, her voice quiet and thick. “I swear to you, we did everything we could.”
“I know,” I tell her. Because I do. The accident was so bad, there’s no way anyone could’ve survived. Except for Beck. He lived. But Matt...his injuries were insurmountable. That’s what the doctor told me that night.