Lists, lists & more LISTS!!!!

For as long as I can remember I’ve been a planner.  Planning worked for me.  When I came up with an idea, I attempted to put it down on paper and figure it out.  Does that mean it worked all the time?  Not quite.  But it did give me a way to work it out in my both in my head and on paper.  For me working the idea out of paper is huge.  Next comes the list.  The list helps me to figure out what tools I need in my tool box, the amount of time the task may take to accomplish and so many of the minor details that I may miss just playing it over and over in my head. My calendar is a disaster and I only write in pencil so I can erase and not line out.  Lining out drives me batty.  But I try to get it all on paper.  The same thing goes for my notebooks.  They make sense to only me.  One page could be my shopping list and one could be what needs to be done around the house and the next a list of places to visit.  These are all things that I’ve thought about at one time or another and needed to write down so I didn’t forget.

Then I welcomed 2015 and all the changes into my life.  One of the things I attempted to do was to be less regimented and less of a planner.  Why?  I thought it would free me of the fictitious hold over my life that comes with “planning.”  Some may think I over plan.  Make too many lists.  I was one of those people.  I thought that I was over planned, lived by too many lists and needed to just loosen up.  So I tried it.  I really did.  And I learned so many things.

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First, I learned when my head is chaos so is my life.  Writing down the things that float around in my head helps me to organize them and see them on paper so that I can accomplish them in the time I need too.  The older I get the more random song lyrics, movie quotes and even book quotes muddle the reality of what I need to do.  Hence, the to do lists.

Second, this is almost inherent to who I am.  Lists keep me on track.   From buying things I don’t need.  It’s an awful trick for me to go to the market and think I’ll get everything I need without a list and that I’ll buy only what I need.  Anyone walk by the dark chocolate and think, I don’t need that?  Well, if I have a list, I’m so focused on marking things off, I don’t buy what I don’t need.

Next, it’s easy for me to be lazy.  Yep, I said it.  I’m not a huge fan of putting labels on people but  I recognize this in myself.  No list.  Not done.  Equals a bit of laziness.  It’s not bad to do this every once in a while, but now that I’m home all day — every day — unless I’m traveling, it’s so easy to let this happen.

The last point here, maybe it should have been the first one, is I like to be busy.  I work full time, I try to put my thoughts on paper (hence this oversharing with you), I review books written by amazing authors for a blog, and I'm even a personal assistant for a bestselling author.  Plus, there are so many other things in this life I want to see and do, places I’d like to visit and experiences I would like to have.  So if I don’t write them down once I think of them, I’m likely to forget.  Or more likely have the idea or thought get lost in some song lyrics bouncing around in my head.

So when I initially thought I’d like to be less like me, more free and with less lists floating around me, I tried it.  In reality, it wasn’t me, and I kind of got lost in the shuffle of trying to be something I’m not.  This is one more piece of my lessons to learn to love myself and embrace all the things that make me, ME!

What are you learning to love about yourself this year?